What is Anxiety Disorder Like?

My boyfriend has anxiety disorder...

Anxiety Question:

My boyfriend has anxiety disorder and I really want to know what it’s like for people with it. Please describe how some of you feel, so maybe I can understand better what he is going through?

Anxiety Answer:

I know it must be hard for you as my husband has a hard time dealing with me sometimes. Anxiety disorder is one of those things that's hard to understand even when you have the disorder yourself. I have had anxiety attacks and such since I was a very young girl. I'm going to try to explain this the best way I know how from personal experiences.

Basically, at least from my experience, my anxiety disorder comes from thoughts and fears. I can be in a car and all the sudden I will have an overwhelming fear that I am going to get in a car wreck, that a drunk driver could be out there and hit me, that I could run over somebody if they run out in the street or something like that. Something a normal person might not worry about or if they did, it would just be a passing thought. But for me, it stays on my mind and brings on this great fear that weighs on my mind.

I have irrational fears, like when I go in a gas station, I fear that somebody might come in and rob the store and shoot us all, or if I am out by myself, that somebody might kidnap and/or rape me. When I was little, I used to have to pack a suitcase every night and put it by the door in case the house burned down. Anxiety disorder causes my mind to go so fast around these thoughts I can't think of anything else. My stomach hurts, my blood pressure rises, and I often can't breathe and start crying, especially when I have bad ones.

I have a fear of being around a lot of people as well, because I don't like being around a lot of people when this occurs and also because I fear people judge me. This is actually really hard for me to write out, but I feel like people need to be educated to understand what really goes on in the mind of somebody who has anxiety disorder.

I have to have constant reassurance; if my husband gets quiet or gives me a certain look I'll wonder if he's mad at me. I don't go out with my friends much anymore cause I just don't like being out of the house.

Anxiety disorder also has many physical effects. Like I said, I get where I can't breathe, I cry, my blood pressure rises but aside from that I stay tired all the time. I never really want to do anything because I'm tired and because I don't want to be out with people.


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