Separation Anxiety -
Normal for Two-Year-Old?
Is separation anxiety in a two-year-old normal?
Anxiety Question:
My husband and I both work. I went back to work when my daughter was four months old, so she's used to us both leaving in the morning and staying with the nanny.
We've had little bouts of separation anxiety at the normal times (around nine months, then occasionally cropping up again later).
We changed nannies about two months ago, and right about that time her reaction when we would leave in the morning became very severe - crying so hard, screaming, clinging to me as if for dear life.
One might think that the new nanny is being abusive, but it's not the case. When we come home, she's very happy, she hugs the nanny, she's had a good day and her appetite and sleeping patterns are normal.
She's otherwise totally fine, happy and healthy - but this reaction in the morning is so out of whack I just don't know what to do.
And now we're looking at starting preschool next week, and I'm thinking she might not be ready, given the severity of her separation anxiety. Help!
Anxiety Answer:
Separation anxiety is totally normal because she just went through a huge change in her routine.
It's also quite clever of her (they start getting really good at manipulation of parents right about this age) to have this reaction.
I think separation anxiety in kids happens every time they have to deal with a new environment.
Two months is long enough for her to have gotten used to it and start preschool. Preschool is generally easier on toddlers when they are potty trained so that would be the only reason for holding off starting her.
My daughter cries about twice a week when I leave for work and she has had the same nanny since birth and loves her to death. She just wants mommy instead. Totally normal.
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